** Disclaimer: Ranting includes all of the rampant cussing, screaming, and blatant idiocy that  you'd expect of something using that namesake. Enjoy! **

The Conservative v. Liberal Argument, and the Simple Solution of TVS.
(1/7/05) - Reading on the various conservative and liberal websites, you'd come to the belief that either Billy Bob's got the gun scope trained on your hippie ass right now from across the yard, or liberals are even now implementing a diabolical plot to kill and subjugate conservatives any way they can. Seriously though people. Liberals are gonna kill people? With what? Heart power?
"Liberals unite! Form of... welfare office line!!"
Really, all these sites give this very impression. I believe that Stan Goff was right. Liberals should be out collecting guns too. That way everyone can stop pretending. We all just want to kill each other anyways. This whole 'logic' and 'reasoned debate' thing is just getting to be exhausting.
Never fear. I'm here to give you the clearest and best course of action, since no one's gonna win that stupid argument about aborting the Electoral College.
Both sides get to come together and build their very own Voltron. Before you get into the "Wait! Don't you know that there are different viewpoints within each party?" just listen in. Just like the various lions for arms and shit, differing factions within each party get different parts. Someone's got to want the pink lion. Then, Red Voltron fights Blue Voltron, and the whole world gets to watch. It's free for us to watch, but the rest of the world has to pay viewing fees to get in on all this badass robot action. Make them subsidize our retardation. And, those corporate donors don't even have to hide anymore. They get to plaster their logos proudly on their side's Voltron just like in NASCAR.
Election night would fucking RULE! No more recounts!
The winner, as well as ruling the country for the next four years, gets to Voltron Mega-Arm fling one hundred of the opposing sides citizens at Russia, or China, or just pick your favorite country. Or, we could just fling them up in the air and see if the Missile Defense System will pick 'em off. Save some money on testing.
This not only definitively proves our technological and military might (without having to invade small countries full of brown people), it also cuts government costs and reinforces to the world that we're absolutely insane. There is no greater deterrent. Oh yeah, and raining chunks of flesh make for great fertilizer.
It's our American right, cause our Voltron is bigger than yours.
- Cow
** If I wasn't so lazy and had access to graphics tools, you'd see a big picture of Voltron pointing a human-sized cannon at Senator Barbara Boxer on the floor of the Senate. There might have even been some pithy caption saying, "Dispute this result, fucker," but there isn't so get over it. ** 


     [ Home ] [ Records ] [ Shows ] [ Ranting ] [ Films ]
[ Booking ] [ Contact/Purchase ] [ Links ]