** Disclaimer: Ranting includes all of the rampant cussing, screaming, and blatant idiocy that  you'd expect of something using that namesake. Enjoy! **

Stranger in the land of LG

(2/7/05)- Yeah, yeah, yeah. I shouldn't bitch about this but fuck it!  Korea's cool.  People seem nice.  Food tastes pretty good and smells like butt so I enjoy that because there's some butt that I definitely enjoyed the flavor of and no it's not you McBroom.
I've been in Seoul for four days now.  Went to the karaoke parlour pimp house looking thing just like in "Lost in Translation".  Saw a rock show where they were playing music with two traditional instruments, some violin with two strings and a big-ass bamboo flute like the type those hippies sell at the Renaissance Festival, and mixed in with the rockin' instruments to make some fusion outfit (which I'm all about checking out the rock show so it's cool) and sounded like Peter Kater and R. Carlos Nakai new age jam sessions and I envisioned a bunch of yuppie yoga freaks contemplating reality.  The toilet seats are electronically heated so jerking off on them is pretty cozy.
The place looks like Blade Runner and it's cool to be here but the one thing!  Can't you fuckers drink?!!!!!  Can't you indulge the Western liver?  I already feel like a douchebag because the folks here are supposed to live at home until they get married and shit, I'm unemployed, foul-mouthed, poorly dressed, and I don't speak a word of this language outside of "my dog is on fire!" 
Including the trip - six days.  Six days and I can't drink, smoke, talk or fuck my girlfriend. 
Mark!  You're getting raped when I come home.  You know.  Cause.  You're skinny.
Bring me the ass of an illiterate teenager.
UPDATE: 5 minutes post previous entry.
Okay, crybaby happy.  All vices satiated.  Folks are really nice.  Smoked a cigarette while chugging a beer, speaking english with a hot asian girl, or maybe boy, bent over the electronic comode and all the rest.  God I'm a little bitch!


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