** Disclaimer: Ranting includes all of the rampant cussing, screaming, and blatant idiocy that  you'd expect of something using that namesake. Enjoy! **

Maybe There is a God. Religious Folks Just Got the Wrong Address.

(3/29/05) - Where to begin? Well, I heard the happy news over the radio today after cashing my whopping $45 check and still cannot believe it. Jerry Falwell, the high priest of douche-bags himself, he's the one in critical condition. I mean after dicking over the Bakkers, accusing Tinky Winky of trying to subvert the hetro values of little boys who have such manly men straight arrows as Jerry to look up to, and accusing queers and lesbos of inadvertently bringing down the wrath of God on September 11th "...because God will not be mocked.", I have only one certainty: Satan must be getting lonely to take Jerry from us when there's so much more evil shit he can do. Yeah Satan! Get lonely. Fuck! Take the Bush family in one fail swoop, Robert Mugabe and Simon Cowell and have yourself a big ol' party. We still got plenty of evil fuckers and Karl Rove might even take over as "Lord Protector" or some other evil title. Are you listening Satan? I'll go back to church and start stealing money out of the offering tray like I did when I was a little kid if you do this.

Yar. In other news about stupid people (or weird, pick your own adjective for this), one of my best friend's brothers is a really big Bush supporter. You know, one of these folks that really buys into that whole God, country, Creed is actually a great band sort of folks, and hey if that's their thing sing "Arms Wide Open" until blue in the face just as long as I got earplugs. This guy however already served his time in the Marines, got discharged and returned to normal life and got himself a bride and now a kid. So what does he do? He re-enlists and will now leave in the summer to go to Iraq.

Call me crazy. Tell me it's none of my business and you're right. But I have to voice my opinion that that has got to be the most irresponsible thing to do for your family I think I've heard. You want to protect them so you're leaving to fly half-way around the world to fight in a screwed up battle with no foreseeable end against suicide bombers and very pissed off locals while the kid grows up without you and the mother gets to wait and see if the stop-loss game stops and her hubby gets to come home when he's supposed to if he survives.

Too bad for Jerry. Long live Sun Myung Moon and the Moral Majority. Oh, and Paul Weyrich.



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